We lost our baby, our little boy.
We’d known there could be–would be–was something wrong for a few weeks (which is why I haven’t been posting or commenting). The end finally came just yesterday.
The end, and the beginning of us missing him and wondering what if and if only.
Every day of these awful weeks, I took my prenatal vitamin, I avoided alcohol, I double-steeped my tea to lower its caffeine content. Just as I’ve been doing since the first days of my pregnancy. I wasn’t hoping for a miracle. I guess I just wanted to prove (to whom, I don’t know) that I did every last little thing that I could to protect him.
It wasn’t enough. And I do know that it wasn’t my fault.
But I hope my little boy knows how much he is loved. And that my heart is as broken as his little body is.
{ 50 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh no. My heart is breaking for your family.
He knows. He knew all along. That’s why he chose you for his Mommy.
Mayberry, I’m so sorry. I hope you are alright and if you are not, I hope you know that there are a lot of us ladies out here holding you up right now through these days.
Damn it.
I’m so sorry.
He knows how much he is loved by you. Thinking of you and sending our love.
Oh honey. Oh baby. I am so sorry.
Sending lots of warm warm hugs and love.
Ohhhh.
I am so sorry sweetheart.
Oh my heart. I just wish to give you the biggest hug and a shoulder to cry on.
I’m so deeply sorry for your loss.
Oh honey, I am so sorry. Much love to you, and the rest of the Mayberrys. Take care of yourself.
I’m so, so sorry. What a terrible loss. Sending my thoughts and prayers to you and your family…
I’m so sorry. Thinking about you and your family.
Oh MM! I am so sorry! Sending you huge hugs!
Oh, oh. I’m so sorry.
So heartbreaking, and so unfair.
I love you guys. Wish I could be there to hold your hands and cry with you.
(hug)
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
I am so sorry. Am holding your hand in spirit. Am hoping that you feel surrounded with love.
Oh Mayberry.
My deepest most sincere condolences.
Oh C I’m so terribly sorry. My thoughts are with you all. Take care of yourself.
You have my deepest sympathies. I lost my first child in similar circumstances, at the same point of pregnancy, after 10 weeks of “something might be wrong” worry and hope, so I have an idea of just how awful you feel right now. I’m so sorry that you and your family have to go through this, and you’ve got my prayers for comfort and healing.
No words that are of any use, except that I am so, so sorry and you and your special boy will be in my prayers.
So sad for you.
I am so sorry for you, for all of you. I wish he hadn’t gone. For sure he knows how much you love him. I hope you know how much he loves you, too.
Oh, I’m so very very sorry. Sending my biggest hugs and condolences.
I’m so very sorry sweetheart. We’re all here for you. xoxo
I am so so sorry. Peace be with you.
I’m so sorry. My stomach dropped when I read that first line – it’s the last thing I want to read or hear from any mother. But he knows how protected and loved he was for his entire life. He knows that.
Oh honey, I am so so sorry. I thought yesterday that it had been a while since you posted. Big hugs to you. I know you are heartbroken. Thinking of you.
Oh no!
I’m so terribly sorry… but I’m glad you realize there was NOTHING you could have done to change the outcome.
I’m so sorry.
I’m so sorry.
I am so sorry! I wish I knew what else to say… thinking of you!
I don’t know the words to adequately express how sorry I am for your loss, I am so very sorry.
Oh dammit, C. I was so worried that this was what was going on. I know the pain. Have been through it a couple times. My thoughts are with you and your family. So so sorry. (((hugs)))
love to you and yours, I am so so sorry
I’m so sorry for your loss.
My thoughts are with you and your family.
My heart breaks for you. Big cyber hugs. Heather has me in tears.
I’m so sorry to hear of your loss.
You and your family are in my family’s prayers tonight.
He loves you too.
I am so sorry. Words can not convey. Just know that you are and will continue to be in my thoughts. Deeply.
I am so sorry. My heart is hurting for you.
My heart aches for you and your family. That little boy knows how much you love him and he’ll hold that love with him.
I’m thinking about you and sending lots of virtual hugs your way.
Oh, no, I just saw this. So very sorry. Thinking of you.
Oh no! I’m so, so sorry. Hugs to you and your family at this difficult time.
My heart goes out to you; I’m so sorry.
Oh no. Oh no.
Wish I had appropriate words. Just know I have been thinking about you and hoping for peace and healing.
Oh Cathy. I’m so incredibly sorry. I hope you and your family are hanging in there.
Will be thinking of you.
xox
my heart is broken right now. I am sending you love.
I am so so sorry. I’ve been there too.
I am so sorry.
Oh sweetheart. I’m crying with and for you right now. Am so angry at the world for you…
Am so very, very sorry. Will email you…
I’m so sorry.
Somehow your blog got lost from my reader, so I just saw this. I am so saddened by your loss. I wish I could extend my arms to you and hug you. I am just so sorry.
Mayberry, I only just read the news–
I’m sorry.
I am horribly behind and just catching up on blog reading. I am so sorry for your loss. Keeping you and your family in my thoughts.