Captain Obvious reminds the world to never ever ever say:
- Are you pregnant?
- When are you due? (unless preceded by a voluntary announcement of pregnancy)
- Are you planning to have [any more] children?
- Don’t you want [any/more] kids?
- I thought you had more than two children. Are you sure?*
- Are you trying?
- Are you sure there’s only one in there?
Captain Obvious notes that one can comfortably say:
- I love your [hair/shoes/necklace/spinach dip].
- How about this [weather/local sports team/lovely venue]?
- How do you know [host/mutual friend]?
- I’m going to the bar, can I get you anything?
*Yes. Personal experience with this one. I wish I were kidding.
{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }
Basically any question that involves “are you sure” ought to be off-limits, with the notable exception of “are you sure you aren’t really 29?”
I got #1 the other day when i went to get my nails done. Try explaining endometriosis to someone who struggles to get English. Awesome!
When I was not very pregnant, but enough that my jeans didn’t fit, and before I’d told anyone, a woman in my office – who knew I’d been trying – said to me “Are you pregnant?” I said yes. She said “you’re showing” and walked off.
People are weird and insensitive.
It’s too bad there is a need for Captain Obvious to weigh in on these types of matters. I think people need to think about Captain Sensitivity a little bit more.
Are you sure? Like you might have lost count somewhere along the way.
The one I always hated most was, “Is it twins? Are you sure it’s not twins.”
Seriously? Come on, people, get some class.
I much prefer the guy at the supermarket who insists on carding me. Now that’s my kind of question.
People are jerks.
Once I was congratulated on having had the baby — when I was nine months pregnant.
Haha, love this “captain obvious” thing…. and especially the one about “are you sure”? I would be like, “well last head count when I put them to bed was 2.” Do they think we’re hiding one?
When announcing her pregnancy, a friend received a “have you been trying for a long time?” question, and her response is one that I’ve saved to use to obnoxious people, with just the shocked and proper tone, “My, my, what a personal question!”
Oh, people haven’t said those things to you! Have they? How awful.
“You’re really ONLY that far along?”
Touching belly, “Do you mind if I touch your belly?”
Thank you, Captain Obvious.
I get it from the peanut gallery in my own home!
Almost daily my daughter pokes my pudgy belly and asks “Is there a baby in there or not?”
Yesterday I replied, “For the LAST TIME, there is not a baby in there. I have two children, you and your brother, and that’s exactly the number of children I want to have. There IS NOT and WILL NOT be another baby in there.”
To which she replied, “What about your boobs? Do you have milk in there?” (This was accompanied by her feeling me up.)
Ugh!
(Liking your Captain Obvious feature, BTW.)
People are dumb.
And as official representative of the childless set, let me add:
Why don’t you have children?
Don’t you like children?
You still have time to have one.
You aren’t a real grown-up til you have kids.
it’s the worst isn’t it?
Two weeks after i had my most recent miscarriage, someone (who knew i had a miscarriage) said, “are you pregnant? you look like you’re glowing.”
Yes, seriously. I mean, WTF.