I am ashamed to admit that my children don’t do chores. At least not on a regular basis. If I ask them to set the table or pick up crumbs with the handheld vacuum or shuttle something upstairs or down, they comply (with varying degrees of cheerfulness). But they don’t have assigned daily or weekly chores, mostly out of sheer parental laziness (and unwillingness to cede control).
They also don’t get an allowance. They take in so much cash from greeting cards (seriously) that they honestly don’t need much more. If we gave them a few dollars a week they would just spend it on mass quantities of gum and Nintendo points.
But they still like to earn money from time to time (like the times when I refuse to buy them any gum or Nintendo points). And I want them to develop a sense of responsibility for the household, as well as the basic skills they need to take care of themselves and their living space.
After a few random attempts where my husband or I promised totally divergent amounts for similar jobs, we’ve come up with a plan that I think might work. We’re making a list of prerequisite jobs, everyday tasks that don’t come with a paycheck: keeping their bedrooms picked up, putting away their shoes on the shelves expressly installed for that purpose by the back door, clearing their dinner dishes, and so on.
Then we’re making another list of money-earners: folding and putting away laundry, weeding, watering outdoor plants, unloading the dishwasher, etc. These will each have a predetermined fee. The catch is that all prerequisite tasks must be done before the child may take on an extra chore for extra cash.
What do you think? How do you handle chores/allowance/spending money with your kids?
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
I like your idea. We have failed miserably at the allowances. I bitch, and the kids ultimately do the assigned chores. But they rarely do what they are supposed to do with any regularity. So now they have to do the minimum regarding their rooms, and they each have must-dos each day which get them nothing but my good cheer in return. That’s the recycling, the dog feeding, the dog walking and the dishwasher emptying. Those used to be part of their allowance chores, but now they just do them because they live here. I have many tasks I pay on, and I pay really well every two weeks or so for one hour of labor (dusting, vacuuming, car washing, raking, cleaning the sliding doors and mirrors, etc.). They want for nothing, really, so it’s not like an allowance is even necessary at this point.
interesting. we too have no set allowance or anything. and really, the kid never has any cash, except the three dollars (so far, three teeth) she’s gotten from the tooth fairy (we don’t seem to have any of those people who send money in greeting cards). on the other hand, she never needs any cash…
No allowances here, either, and no set chores other than making their beds, picking up after themselves, cleaning up their rooms, and putting clothes into the dryer. Quite the slave-drivers we are! I would like to assign them other chores — I like your idea.
I would like to try your idea. Our kids don’t get allowance. They have chores only intermittently. I want to change that. I think I’ll try your method!
Thinking about this for a minute or two I guess my kids do have things we expect them to do. Take their dishes to the sink, dirty clothes in the hamper, other things. I don’t think of them as chores but as things we all do to keep our household running.
No official chores yet – but we have instituted a reward system to encourage the cheerful taking of baths, respect for property, and such.
We have assigned chores at home but our kids aren’t paid for them. chores start at around four years old with little things like clearing the table, feeding the fish, dusting. When they hit seven they start rinsing the dishes; ten starts laundry and washing/drying dishes. I tell my kids it just their expected part of keeping the household going and my job as a parent in preparing them for living on their own when they enter college. Doing chores as expected does not go unrecognized and neither does having to repeatedly remind them. Hubby and I keep mental record of how well each child has done (or not) and take special notice if the child goes beyond what is required. When they ask for something (toys, books, sleep-overs) we use the mental record to make the decision and we tell them the “why” on our decisions. Occasionally, we’ll pick up an extra treat (ice cream, Happy Meals, let them choose the Netflix) when we’ve noticed they have really gone beyond the expected. This seems to work well for us and I’m not raising children who expect to be paid for what’s already expected, paid for what their learning, or paid for every good deed that should really be done from their heart.
My mother once told me when I was complaining about chores, that she was getting me ready for living on my own when no one would be there to thank or pay me for folding clothes, washing dishes, etc. Plus, if I really didn’t like it, it would be incentive to go to college and get a well enough paying job to hire someone to do household chores for me. Her “slave-driving” worked. I finished college – got a good job – and had a housekeeper for two years before I moved. I just haven’t found someone I trust yet. Plus, the kids are old enough to help now so it seems more frugal to do it together.
Same and same. We tried chores/allowance for a while, but frankly the upkeep was too much for Kyle and me.
What we do instead is set basic expectations for looking after their own things (taking plates/cups to sink, bringing down laundry baskets, folding/putting away own laundry, cleaning their rooms and bathrooms) and assign other chores as necessary. Some of those chores come with a paycheck, some don’t. But all must be done cheerfully, or at least without whining.
no allowance, no set chores. The kids are good about helping when asked – they are horrible about cleaning their rooms. One child sits for us when we go out special in the evening and earns more than he needs (hmm, we still owe him for last Saturday) – so he’d never want to do extra chores for money. The other doesn’t mind making a few bucks doing extra things – in fact she has agreed to vacuum the car – amount dependent upon how good a job she does.
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Maggie was just asking about getting an allowance. I balk since I’d never had one as a kid. We buy her everything she needs, and a few things she wants. I put all my change in a little wooden box on my dresser. At the end of the month, I take it to the bank & deposit it into a savings account for her. I have to open an account for Will also & they will have to split the loot every month.
out of curiousity, what do they do with their nintendo points?