Raise your hand if you return borrowed containers with something in them. I only found out about this etiquette rule in the last year or so. I either never heard of it when I was growing up, or I didn’t pay attention at the time (sorry, Mom). Is it really a thing? Well, anyway, now that I’ve heard it, I feel compelled to DO it. So when a friend reads a whiny FB update and drops off a vase of flowers to cheer me up, I return the vase with flowers clipped from my yard … only to see the exact same flowers growing in her yard anyway.
And when we host our neighbors for dinner, and they bring a dessert that requires a couple of Tupperware containers, and then they tell us to keep the leftovers … I end up hanging on to their containers for several extra days until I can get around to making cookies or granola or something to go in the containers so I can return them. And now they have to eat whatever I gave them AND they have to wash the container again.
I’m just not quite seeing the logic of this system, is what I’m saying. What do you say (and do)?
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Our neighbors watched our house while we were out of town, so I picked up a little potted plant at the grocery store for them as a thank you. In order to get to their front door and give it to them, I had to walk though the lush, tropical vegetation of their yard (!!) Our house faces a different way, so I had no clue they were such avid gardeners, but boy, did I feel like boob handing them what was essentially a WEED by comparison. HA!
I am also a recent learner of the “returning containers full” idea. I don’t always do it. It reminds me of the lovely gentle elder relatives who write thank you notes thanking you for your thank you note.
Wow — I’ve never heard of this practice. And here I was thinking I was on top of my game for remembering to return the container at all.
Huh. Looks like I’ve been terribly remiss in not returning full containers. Now I’m stressed out. I’m with Suzanne. I feel proud of myself for remembering to not steal the containers in the first place.
I’ve never heard of such a thing! (And thus have never done it.)
I usually don’t take a dish that isn’t disposable or I make sure to take it when I leave.
I’ll ask some of my older friends to see if they’ve heard of this.
Huh. I’ve never heard of this, and consequently, I’ve not done it…
Here’s what one of my friends says:
I’m not certain where it came from. I thought perhaps it was a country tradition. I first learned about it after I was married to the farmer.
Also, I thought it only applied to food – in the tupperware containers or in a Corning casserole dish.
I don’t think you need/needed to return food for food. (I’m not a cook.) Just something thoughtful for the person. Even a cute handwritten Thank You note – or a poem – or an IOU for a morning of babysitting.
That is a weird one. But I also object to the idea that if I invite you over, you have to bring me a present. It just seems so stressful. I just want to have dinner with someone, not get presents!
Ha ha ha ha! I don’t return the containers. I never remember. On the few occasions when I do remember, I return them empty. And my friends didn’t remember they had given me anything anyway.
I think you’re operating on a whole different plane. I’m at the pond scum level of tupperware return evolution
I only heard about it in the last year or so as well, and I’ve been keeping to that thought ever since. On the upside, I find myself making a lot more cookies than I used to.
I think this is reasonable if the item brought over is big or really especially nice, but my neighbors and I would spend all our time reciprocating if we held to this normally.
I’m happy if I remember the etiquette of returning the container in the first place. Actually, I think we have lots of other peoples’ containers and vice-versa. And this seems very right with the world.
Ack! This is the first I’ve learned of “returning containers full.” I have never done this and never received containers back with cookies or flowers or anything! My world is changed! Changed!
I never heard this before, and I’ve been on both the giving and receiving end of it. Wait. Does that make sense? I’ve left containers at other peoples’ houses and other people have left theirs at my house. So I think this is a midwest thing : )
This weekend we had a potluck and when one woman had to leave early, she dumped all her remaining salad in the garbage so she could bring her bowl home. I thought that was rude. But maybe she figured the remains weren’t worth saving, or maybe she didn’t want to bother me to ask for a container. WHO KNOWS. Potluck etiquette is beyond me!
I’ve never heard of this particular rule of etiquette. Returning the cleaned items promptly, with a verbal thank you, seems fine to me.
My little storage couples (container plus lid) are always breaking up and abandoning me. I guess that’s karma – what I get for not following the rules (or even always managing to return empty containers).
The salad dumper sounds like she hasn’t heard the rule I heard which is that you totally get to take home whatever doesn’t get consumed at a potluck.
The container full idea hurts my head because last time I had lots of containers to return, it was when friends brought meals after Jonah was born. How is a new mom supposed to reciprocate in ALL those containers? I like the one commenter’s idea of something – a note, or somesuch – if it gets too elaborate, the return-ee loses the grace of having done the favor, right?