blogher09

Before and after and in between all the parties and swag fistfights and hugging and squeeeeing at BlogHer, there are actually sessions. I’ve gone to BlogHer several times in the past, always under the auspices of my employer–so I chose my panels accordingly. This year, I paid my own way, so I was free to choose whatever panels I wanted.

Friday morning, I hit the opening breakfast and speed-dating. The best part of that was meeting Vodkamom in person. I totally wish she was my kids’ kindergarten teacher. Or maybe that I could warp time and space so she could have been my kindergarten teacher.

Then I attended a mommyblogging session, “Have You Found Your Mommyblogging Tribe?” with Megan Jordan of Velveteen Mind and BlogNosh, Kelby Carr of Type-A Mom, Renee Ross of Cutie Booty Cakes and Briar Sauro of Unwellness.com. I’m not sure if I need a tribe or want a tribe or have a tribe or what, but I enjoyed just sitting back and listening to all of these very different, but also very engaging moms. I appreciated a comment by Megan that “Writing well is not enough anymore,” because I’m really tired of hearing that old trope–that basically, “if you build it, they will come”; that the best blogs rise naturally to the top. I thoroughly agree that the best way to have an audience is to start by writing well. But it’s only a start. You need a lot of luck, a big controversy, a tireless self-marketing effort, or all three to really draw in huge numbers. Or even moderately significant ones.

This session affirmed that I blog for me and for the friends I’ve made as a blogger. I’ve never wanted to blog for money. I’d love more readers, and not so I can monetize them. But I only have so much time and energy and I’m not going to be someone I’m not just to haul in drive-bys. Megan said: “I think ending the session on the screw- it note is very effective. It can be frustrating. But if you love what you’re doing then the tribe of you is going to work. People are busy. Just be confident and believe that they will love being friends with you.”

There were two other conflicting sessions I was sorry to have missed: The Transformational Power of Blogging (with Kate from Sweet/Salty, among others) and Bloggers Are Pioneers in a Post-”Employee” World, since I am living in that world.

After lunch next to a giant jar of spaghetti sauce made out of vegetables, I went to the session on Brands and Bloggers. As with many of the sessions I attended, I was drawn to this one more by the speakers (BlogHer co-founder Jory Des Jardins and Liz from Mom-101, in this case) than by the topic. I almost stood up and cheered when Liz said “There’s a loss of focus on why people have started their blogs.  Blogs have turned into an opportunity to get shit. There’s nothing wrong with being compensated for your writing.  Know your brand/passions.  Write about that.  Be specific when you’re branding yourself.  Be as specific in your passions as you can. Put out a message for your readers that is consistent and on par with your brand.  Turn shit down. It’s the only way for your readers to believe in you.  Only write about what you care about.  That way you won’t let down your readers.  All you have is your integrity and trust with your readers.” Liz and the panel also talked about the distinction between “using a product as a tool, or viewing it as compensation for writing. It’s a tool for review.” Hear, hear!

The other session I might’ve attended during this time was “Balance” Is a Big, Fat, Lying McLiar LIE for Moms Who Blog (and the rest of us too). I watched some tweets about it during the Brands session and I spoke to some people who did attend, and had mixed impressions. (Check out the live blog if you want to see for yourself–it seems to lean a little heavily on “how does your blogging affect your spouse.”)

I skipped the third session of the day in favor of a few minutes of downtime (well. online downtime). I am sure the Blog to Book session was good, but I’d attended a similar one at BlogHer ’08.

Friday evening was the community keynote, which was every bit as amazing and wonderful as you’ve heard. Also long and emotionally draining. Thank god for hilarious posts (and spot-on deliveries) like Danielle Henderson’s “stuck in the middle with you.”

This is only half done but it’s way long and way late at night so I’ll have to tackle Saturday another time. I hope it’ll be sometime before Blogher’10.

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1. Amtrak FTW. I actually don’t find Chicago traffic too intimidating (I’ve driven and parked on the street in Manhattan, folks–the cabbies there are more aggressive by a power of about 150) but what I do find intimidating is paying $50 a night for parking. Thanks but no.

2. Somehow I thought that staying in a hotel for several nights in a row would allow me to catch up on sleep. Ha. Ha HA.

3. It’s been written and tweeted exhaustively but some of the greediness was mortifying. You wouldn’t want your child to go to a birthday party just for the goodie bag, would you? Or complain if he didn’t get a bag? Ick. I tried to follow Monica‘s wise strategy of only taking swag that was small and useful. I ended up with about half a shopping bag full of toys and toiletries. The kids were more than thrilled and I won’t have to buy any deodorant until next spring.

4. Those who weren’t there were sorely missed. Those who weren’t there, but sent their head on a stick in their place, enjoyed many photo ops.

5. I’m sick to death of discussing and reading about the FTC and reviews and sponsors and all that. Let’s blog with integrity, please, and if I never have to talk about why again, that would be fab.

6. I will try to recap the sessions in more depth later, if anyone is interested, but I enjoyed many of them and came away with a renewed sense of confidence about why blogging matters to me, and that however I do it (as long as it is with integrity) is right.

7. That said, my other realization was that I’d like to narrow the focus here a bit–to what, I don’t yet know–while also giving myself permission to stray from that when it’s warranted I feel like it.

8. Binkytowne makes a delightful roommate and I’m still eating the Chessmen and honey wheat pretzels she provided. (Julie‘s right, there’s never enough food.)

9. Wait until I tell you about how I parallel-parked a car without using my hands. Leighann has video.

10. Holy iPhone lust. But I did get lots of interest in my itsy bitsy teeny weeny laptop. And it worked just as I wanted it to.

11. Five nights away from home was one too many. Maybe two.

Thanks to the staff and organizers and to the many people I met for the first time and the many people I had the pleasure of re-connecting with or just, you know, drinkin’ with. It is way too late at night for me to link you all, but you know I would if I could. Cross my heart. Because, as Christina said from the bathtub at the CheeseburgHer fiesta (and reiterated in her excellent wrap-up post), you–those who were there, and those who were there in spirit–are what it’s all about.

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If you’re not going to you-know-what, and you don’t want to hear about it, just go ahead and click “mark as read” on this one.

I’m almost ready. I bought a netbook (my laptop weighs, I’m not kidding, like 20 pounds and all the shredding in the world doesn’t make that easy to lug around; and the netbook is my consolation prize for not getting an iPhone because it’s a bad financial move). I got some new business cards. I bought two dresses that I think might be cute. I got a pair of jeans that are about 8 inches too long. The pressure is on to have them shortened by Wednesday.

I also made a page listing everything I think I’m going to be crazy enough to try to do. If you’re going and we haven’t already talked about it, let me know so we can try to meet up.

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