by mayberry on March 3, 2009
Recently one of my oldest friends came to town on a cheering-up mission (oldest as in, I’m not going to do the math because the answer will scare me). It was a perfect girls’ weekend–dinner out, a night at a hotel, a yoga class, a little window-shopping, a theater outing. She happened to be here the night of the Oscar broadcast so we watched that together.
Oh, and we got pampered at a spa too, thanks to a Christmas gift from my husband that proved far more valuable than he ever imagined it would. I wrote about the spa in a guest post at my friend Anne’s blog, The Jet Set Girls–where you can get all kinds of insider beauty and travel tips.
R. and I live almost exactly 1,000 miles apart, but we make it work. We don’t talk every day anymore like we did in high school (you know, debriefing the day that we spent almost entirely in each other’s company) or email many times a week like we did before kids (she has three and the hottest topic of our nonstop chatter was whether either of us is brave enough to go for one more). But she came to visit me here in Mayberry when Opie was only a few months old. My kids and I went to see her when she was juggling a brand-new baby and two older boys by herself thanks to a horribly ill-timed National Guard deployment for her husband. We’ve managed to meet up on business trips to New York (mine) and Chicago (her husband’s).
Jobs, houses, and hometowns may come and go, but your best girlfriends? You can always count on.
by mayberry on February 13, 2009
People want to know how I am. How I really am. I appreciate the thought and I wish I could answer them.
I am happy not to be spending every waking moment with a painful, hormone-induced headache.
I am sad when I see my son’s face and wonder what his brother would have looked like.
I am relieved that the terribly stressful period when we didn’t know if our baby would live or die is over.
I am wondering how I will ever get through the month of June.
I am deeply touched by the supportive comments, emails, cards, flowers, plants, gifts, and food we’ve received.
I am thankful that I no longer have vicious nausea and heartburn 24/7.
I am discouraged that my body is flabby and lumpy with nothing to show for it.
Mostly, I just feel weird. I’ve never done this before and I don’t know how to do it. For three years I had resigned myself to the fact that I wouldn’t be having any more babies. I got pretty good at living that way.
Then I was pregnant, and that felt like an altered state, an alternative reality. So not being pregnant feels like a return to normalcy. But denying my son’s short life is most certainly not normal.
You see the dilemma.
I’ll steal borrow from Casey and tell you that you don’t have to tell me you are sorry. She said you could tell her about your favorite sandwich instead. If you want to tell me something, what’s your favorite flavor of ice cream? I was sorely tempted by a tub of Americone Dream the other day.
by mayberry on February 11, 2009
Once upon a time (I’m going to tell you a story, or maybe an LSAT practice question) I dated a guy named Glenn. Glenn worked with a woman named Lori. Lori lived with a man named Bob. Bob had some grade-school friends named Mark and Dave. Mark had a college friend named Jeff. Jeff had a business associate named Ron.
Are you following? Sometime after Glenn flew the coop, I went to a party at Bob and Lori’s. There I met Mark and Dave. Mark asked for my number. We went out on a date. It was at a comedy club which was apparently having a bl-w j-b theme night. Every single comedian decided to discuss that particular topic. Hi. First date over here. Awkward.
Still, there was at least one other date that I recall before things petered out (pun not really intended), as things do. But occasionally I would see Mark at Bob and Lori’s. A few months later, Bob called to say that Ron had given Jeff tickets to a football game, but Jeff couldn’t use them; did I want them? I couldn’t go to the game but Bob seemed insistent. So I found someone else who could use the tickets. Then I had to meet Jeff at his office building, conveniently located next to mine, to pick up the tickets.
The rest is history. And this past weekend, we (Jeff, Bob, me, and a few others) finally watched Mark get married too. It was definitely the best Jewish-Nicaraguan wedding I’ve ever attended. Mazel tov!
by mayberry on December 18, 2008
Far too long ago, the lovely Kirsetin gave me a bloggy award, in Spanish no less. I’m going to go ahead and take her word for it when she says that recipients “are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in prizes or self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers!” (I mean, wouldn’t you take her word for it, if her word was “charming”?)
(I do like prizes though. I bought a bundle of Christmas presents and several months of upcoming book club books with recent PBN winnings.)
So hmmm … writers that need more attention.
- Kate from Eucalyptus Pillow recently started a couple of new blogs and a business so I guess she’s attention-seeking. Right, Kate?
- Tammie from Soul Gardening needs us to read so she’ll keep posting, because I miss her when she doesn’t.
- That goes for you too, Nancy. (Uh. No pressure, though, gals.)
If there’s anyone you’d like to pass this award on to, go forth with my blessing. As if you needed it.
by mayberry on October 20, 2008
If you’ve been to Julie’s, you know we’ve been to Julie’s this past weekend. There was much eating (thank you Kyle!), musical beds, walks around the neighborhood, cooing at the baby (OMG the baby. He is edibly cute), an intense game of Taboo in which Nancy‘s name was invoked (how else could I explain “hat trick” without saying the word “hockey”?), and not nearly enough picture-taking–partly because I left my camera at my brother‘s overnight. (Ask Julie about how he returned it on his motorcyle, fully decked out in leather and chains.)
Once again, Jo and Tacy picked up without a moment’s hesitation and didn’t leave each other’s sides, awake or asleep, for the entire length of the visit. Neither did Jo wear any of the clothes we brought for her, preferring instead to raid Tacy’s closet. I don’t know if it’s the fact that they spent so much time together as infants (nearly every day from three months to two years) or the fact that we parents do our best to encourage their continuing relationship, but these girls have a strong bond that’s now weathered four years apart. I hope it never breaks.
Goodbye Denver–we’ll be back as soon as we can.
by mayberry on September 20, 2008
What can’t I live without as a mom, ask to Yoplait Kids and Parent Bloggers Network?
I’m going to have to go the totally corny route and say other moms. Other moms have taught me what to carry, what to buy, and what to ignore. They’ve taught me what to wear, what to sweat, and what not to. They’ve lent me baby gear and dropped off meals in times of crisis. They’ve kept me company on long stroller sojourns and on trips to the mall squeezed in after bedtime. They’ve kept me sane at the playground or cooped up inside when there’s two feet of snow on the ground. (I am so much better at spending long hours with my children when I have a peer of my own at my side.)
They’ve reminded me over and over that I’m not alone. And while I loved my Boppy and my Bjorn and even my breast pump, while I’d never want to give up my bike trailer or chai tea lattes or the DVR or god forbid the Internet, I think I could get through just about anything if a fellow mom was there to hold my hand.
by mayberry on September 6, 2008
My friend and Full Mommy collaborator extraordinaire, Leeanthro, is hosting a big giveaway at her site to raise funds for her Step Out Walk to Fight Diabetes.
So many of our kids and adults are affected by this condition, which has no cure and requires a lifetime of care and attention. It runs in my family and my sister’s boyfriend was diagnosed with Type I (juvenile) diabetes just last year in his 30s.
Please consider making a donation or spreading the word! Enter by September 15.
by mayberry on July 12, 2008
I didn’t really mean to leave that birthday-wish-soliciting post up for so long. But since July 1, my calendar has looked like this:
2 nights home
3 nights away
3 nights home
2 nights away
1 night home
8 nights away
I’m now about to start #1 of those last 8 (up to and including BlogHer). So I’ll remain scarce, especially after the geesemice descend in a few days. I’ve never been very good at planning ahead with blogging. It feels too much like work, after years of writing about Christmas every June in my magazine days. So later, gators!
by mayberry on June 25, 2008
The one thing about enduring the neverending winter around here is that when summer comes, it’s goooood. Clear, sunny, warm but not too hot, very rarely humid. So we just want to be outside and celebrate every minute.
At book club the other night my friend Theresa introduced me to what’s going to become my signature summer drink. We were sitting outside at a waterfront restaurant which got me in the mood to order a gin and tonic. But Theresa showed me the light: the gin press. Ahh! Lighter, sweeter, and très refreshing.
Then, just to prove what a good friend she is, when I appealed to her the next day after I couldn’t find a recipe online, she found me a video of a cute bartender doing a demo. The trick is that the drink is more commonly made with vodka.
Cheers!
Edited to remove embedded video — sorry, that was annoying the way it played automatically.
by mayberry on June 17, 2008
Something I even ranted about on my blog: Hosting a sales party.
[cowers in shame]
Apparently I have been living in suburbia too long because I finally succumbed. In my defense … I got suckered into this by going to a party at Jo’s teacher’s house. How you gonna say no to an invitation from your child’s teacher, for an event held just a few weeks before the end of the school year? And then, at that party, how you gonna be the fifth person in a row to pass on hosting your own party?
I know. You’re going to grow a spine, that’s how.
Maybe next time.
So tomorrow night it’s my turn to be the shill. I was frankly embarrassed to send out the invitations and I mostly limited them to other mothers from the kindergarten class. But now that the party’s almost here, I’m secretly excited. I love to have people over and I don’t get to do it enough. It helps that it’s MY event and therefore my husband will not be helping with the preparations (although he will be on kid duty). Every other time we have a party or even just invite another family over for a kids-included meal, he gets so panicky about how everything will look and taste and possibly be ready in time. He makes entertaining far more stressful than it needs to be.
When I’m running the show solo–like with this party, or when I host book club–I go for super easy and I do not worry for one second “what anyone will think” like he does. These are my friends and if I keep the wine flowing, they will not care that all the food I am serving is storebought. (When our book club read Snow Flower and the Secret Fan, I served rice crackers, edamame, and miscellaneous frozen dumplings and egg rolls–and everyone is still raving, especially the woman who’d never had edamame before that night. There is nothing easier than throwing a bag of soybeans into a pot of boiling water!)
So tomorrow, it’s wine, cheese, wine, crackers, wine, cookies, wine, and cheesecake, with a few corny games and catalogs on the side. It won’t be that awful. I promise.
Photo by Swamibu.
