by mayberry on June 20, 2010
Because “good last report card of the year fondue” doesn’t trip off the tongue quite as well. But it was a double celebration. Our crunchy school doesn’t give letter grades (actually, the level of detail on the report cards is amazing and I can’t begin to imagine how long it takes the teachers to do them). But everything that had been a “needs improvement” became “improving” and several “improvings” became “significant strengths.” It definitely called for some cheesy, chocolaty goodness.
I know, picture of the wrong kid. Oops!
Happy Father’s Day to all.
by mayberry on June 9, 2010
I am ashamed to admit that my children don’t do chores. At least not on a regular basis. If I ask them to set the table or pick up crumbs with the handheld vacuum or shuttle something upstairs or down, they comply (with varying degrees of cheerfulness). But they don’t have assigned daily or weekly chores, mostly out of sheer parental laziness (and unwillingness to cede control).
They also don’t get an allowance. They take in so much cash from greeting cards (seriously) that they honestly don’t need much more. If we gave them a few dollars a week they would just spend it on mass quantities of gum and Nintendo points.
But they still like to earn money from time to time (like the times when I refuse to buy them any gum or Nintendo points). And I want them to develop a sense of responsibility for the household, as well as the basic skills they need to take care of themselves and their living space.
After a few random attempts where my husband or I promised totally divergent amounts for similar jobs, we’ve come up with a plan that I think might work. We’re making a list of prerequisite jobs, everyday tasks that don’t come with a paycheck: keeping their bedrooms picked up, putting away their shoes on the shelves expressly installed for that purpose by the back door, clearing their dinner dishes, and so on.
Then we’re making another list of money-earners: folding and putting away laundry, weeding, watering outdoor plants, unloading the dishwasher, etc. These will each have a predetermined fee. The catch is that all prerequisite tasks must be done before the child may take on an extra chore for extra cash.
What do you think? How do you handle chores/allowance/spending money with your kids?
by mayberry on May 27, 2010
It’s the time of the year where I resort to bullet points.
- Although I’m sure it was really apparent from the video, the piano concert went well. Somehow it kept me busy from 10 a.m. to 8 p.m., though.
- Jo got braces, with blue and purple brackets. She hasn’t complained at all of any pain or discomfort (she’s tough, this one). I think the advantage of having them when you’re 8 is that it still feels special to be different. She’s not–yet–worried about trying to look like everyone else.
- Someone nominated me for “best parenting blog” at ParentsConnect, which was awfully sweet.
- We’re saying goodbye to a lot of lovely teachers: the librarian, music and kindergarten teachers at the elementary school, and the assistant director and another teacher at the child care center. The teacher who is retiring was Opie’s very first caregiver in the nursery when he was all of three months old and kind of a cranky little pill. I’m feeling rather maudlin about it all, especially the thought of my boy starting kindergarten in just a few months. The other day it occurred to me that when he loses his first tooth I might collapse into a heap.
- In happier news, I wrote about my sister-in-law’s totally sweet potty-training books over at the Full Mommy.
by mayberry on May 14, 2010
My daughter’s school has a piano keyboarding program. Twice a week for 30 minutes, a heroic teacher instructs an entire class on basic piano skills. Each child plays a full-size electronic keyboard, with headphones so the teacher can listen in. Kids advance at varying speeds depending on their ability, so they are not all playing the same song or even using the same music book at the same time.
We also, space being at a premium, do not have a dedicated music room. So every Tuesday and Thursday morning before school, parent volunteers (I’m one of them) set up 25 stands, keyboards, stools, music stands, and headphones, plus a complicated network of extension cords. And every Tuesday and Thursday morning before lunch, we come back to put it all away. We are a small, but dedicated bunch. We’ve contemplated “Keyboard Roadie” t-shirts and theme songs. We pretty much danced in the streets when we got some new cabinets that allowed us to store the keyboards horizontally instead of vertically.
Of course, twice a year the kids put on a show for their classmates and parents. For the upcoming spring concert, the teacher asked a few of us setter-uppers and taker-downers to perform with our children. And so next Thursday night, I will be plinking and plunking along with the Group 1 kids–that’s one step up from kindergarten, y’all–as their accompanist for two songs (those beloved classics, “Pumpkin Party” and “The Tooth Fairy”).
I am very nervous.
by mayberry on April 13, 2010
Digging through four bags of garbage (chicken-nuggety, milk-cartony, banana-peely garbage) to find something. Something that you are then going to put in your child’s mouth.
So, yeah! The retainer! Went in the cafeteria trash can on the second day back from spring break. Awesome.
There we were after school, next to the Dumpster, picking through the lunch remains, wearing rubber gloves. And pretty much every adult that passed us gave a sympathetic, knowing look and said “Retainer? Been there. Sorry.”
I feel like I checked another one off the Mom Life List, right there.
- Emergency room: check, check.
- Peed on, pooped on, puked on: check, check, check.
- Said goodbye to kids at day care, at grandma’s, at kindergarten: check, check, check. (Not college, yet.)
- Pulled diapers, pacifiers, breast pads, matchbox cars, and Barbies out of my purse at inopportune moments: check.
- Subsisted on less sleep than a CIA detainee (for years on end): check.
What else?
And yes. We–I–found the retainer.
by mayberry on April 9, 2010
We just came back from a brief spring break trip/extended birthday celebration. Not only am I way behind on everything, there is snow on the ground. Is there no justice??
So I stole this post wholesale from Slouchy. Well, except I put in my kid’s answers instead of her son’s. I may be lazy, but I am not quite that lazy.
Are you happy that there’s no school today?
Yes.
What are you planning to do with your day off?
Sleep [ha! This child still has not developed the ability to sleep in]. Watch TV. Play.
How’s second grade going for you? What do you like most about it?
Lunch! In 2nd grade you get more work.
What’s it like to be a big sister?
Painful. ‘Cause Opie fights me.
What movie have you seen recently that you’d recommend to other eight-year-olds?
The Lightning Thief. Because it’s very interesting. It wasn’t scary to me.
What about books?
Eloise. It’s funny.
What do you think your teacher will have to say about you in tomorrow’s conference?
I am very good in school but I need to work on not talking.
What’s your favorite food?
I don’t have a favorite food. I like turkey pot pie. And cheeseburgers. And broccoli and salmon.
What city, state, or country would you most like to visit, and why?
Slovakia. Because I’m studying it. What would you eat there? Potatoes and bacon.
Do you think kids these days play too many video games?
No
Is there anything you miss about being younger?
Not having to do as much homework.
If you could go back in time, what time period would you choose, and why?
I would go to when – right before Opie peed on my head.
Actually, I would go to Ancient Greece. Because of the Greek gods. I would want to be one. I would like knowledge.
What do you want to be when you grow up?
A famous ice skater.
What’s your favorite color?
Every color in the rainbow.
What do you like to do when you’re outside?
Go on monkey bars.
What do you look forward to?
Driving a car.
What’s going to be the best thing about being eight?
Third grade.
I’m still learning… What do you most want to learn that you haven’t learned yet?
How to play the trumpet.
If you had a superpower, which one would you want it to be?
Controlling siblings.
Vanilla, or chocolate?
Vanilla.
Summer, or winter?
Summer.
by mayberry on April 3, 2010
I don’t think too many (white, Midwestern) 8-year-old girls sit down to a homecooked Indian meal on their birthday and eat it with gusto.
I don’t think too many eight-year-old girls accidentally open their younger brother’s birthday present and really wish they could have those boys’ size 5 plaid Bermuda shorts for their own.
I don’t think too many eight-year-old girls give away 99% of their Easter candy, cheerfully, because they can’t eat it thanks to their recently installed orthodontic devices.
I don’t think too many eight-year-old girls want to spend part of their birthday building a Lego spaceship with their uncle.
Then again, I don’t think too many eight-year-old girls are as great as you are.

by mayberry on March 31, 2010
by mayberry on February 23, 2010
(That’s not a reference to a certain Disneyfied pop star, BTW.)
One of the quirks of our old house is the second-floor layout. At the top of the stairs, there is a wide hallway with five doors visible: two on the left, two on the right, one straight ahead. On the left is the bathroom and one bedroom. On the right is a little storage room (we have no attic) and another bedroom. If you open the straight-ahead door, you enter an odd little anteroom where you’ll find another three doors. To the left, there is a small bedroom/office. Forward is another odd-shaped closet, and on the right is another bedroom which adjoins, via a connecting door, to the adjacent bedroom (the one on the right from before, you follow?).
When we first moved in, Jo was just turning two and of course Opie wasn’t born yet, although we hoped we’d have another child in the next few years. We were a little stumped, at first, about how to allocate the bedrooms. Except for the office, they are all about the same size. The stand-alone one was already painted an incredibly girlie shade of pink. Of the adjoined rooms, one is a bit brighter (it has two exposures) but its closet is outside the room and doesn’t have much hanging space. Also (see below) it had this crazy coral-with-white-stencils thing going on which mayyyyybe could have worked for an adult room but not a kid’s. The neighboring room–it was yellow then–has some nice built-ins and a good closet. We thought about making it the master and giving Jo the pink room, and turning the tangerine!! room into some kind of den or sitting room. But then what would happen if/when we had another kid? Or we could give Jo the sunny room (who cares if a two-year-old has a closet) and keep the yellow one for ourselves. We’d be right next to each other, but could still close the adjoining doors, and we’d save the pink room for another child.
In the end, we took the pink room for ourselves (but painted it pronto) and for a year, Jo had herself a two-room suite. The yellow room, equipped with closet, became her bedroom, and the sunny room became a playroom.
I told you the paint job was wacky.
These days, that yellow room is–surprise!–pink. Opie has the adjoining, once-coral playroom (and no place to hang his clothes, but that’s yet to become an issue). You can see part of the set of connecting doors at that pink link. The kids get to be very close, but still have their own separate spaces. Tonight, we’ve dragged one of the mattresses from his trundle bed onto the floor of her room, and he’s sleeping in there. When we first put up that trundle bed, Jo slept in it for months, alongside her little brother. Lately, they’ve designated the spot behind the big armchair in his room their “office”; they sit back there and read books together and eat contraband candy. They haven’t yet learned to hide the wrappers.
I don’t know what we’ve done, if anything, to foster their closeness. Maybe they’re just different enough not to grate on each other too much: one boy, one girl, three years apart in age. Maybe we said some magic words once upon a time that have kept rivalry largely at bay, thus far (universe, please notice my caveats). Maybe they were just born with compatible temperaments. Maybe we’re just lucky.
Or maybe it’s that double door, the one that lets them have their own special relationship, different from any other they have with parents or teachers or friends or other relatives. They’re a team within a team, and they have the clubhouse to prove it.
by mayberry on February 19, 2010
When Jo was a baby we enrolled her in a child care center in our neighborhood in New Jersey. All of the staff were native Spanish speakers, as were many of the kids. Jo spoke a few words of Spanish almost before she said anything in English. We noticed that she’d chirp something like “ahpeeahpeeahpee” but we couldn’t figure out what it meant. Finally, one day I heard one of the teachers say it too. I realized that in her accented English, she was sing-songing “Happy, happy, happy!” to the children.
So that made me happy.
And lovely Wendy from Midwest Green has given me the Happy 101 award. The rules are to list 10 things that make me happy, which seems like a good idea after the last two whingy posts, and then pay it forward to 10 more bloggers who make me happy.
Things that take me to a happy place
- A cup of tea
- A new Sunday Times magazine and crossword
- A little boy still small enough to carry on my hip
- The beginning of a yoga class
- The end of a yoga class
- Making travel plans
- My kids making each other laugh
- Lexulous
- Reading my daughter’s creative spelling/writing (she and a friend have been exchanging emails using my account and you would die from the cute.)
- My tweet stream during figure skating events. I am reading all the best stuff aloud to my husband, who is suitably impressed.
(A selection of the) bloggers that make me happy
- Binkytown, for her balance of sweetness and snark
- Greeblemonkey, generous Renaissance woman
- Lady M, another generous Renaissance woman (high-tech! vintage ballroom! Star Wars!)
- Lovely Listing, for many LOLz
- Magpie Musing, for cleverness online and via snail mail
- Mamapop, for its recaps of Top Chef and Project Runway
- Julie at The Mom Slant, for knowing all about ahpeeahpeeahpeeland
- Nonlinear Girl, for (among much else) giving me and my Room of Your Own session a good boost (one more week left to vote!)
- The Shredheads, for launching a fitness movement online
- Slouchy, for pure poetry.